By nature, I am an introspective, reflective person. As with anything, it can be a bit of a double-edged sword. I can spend far too long revisiting past scenarios and mentally reworking how I might have approached them differently.
But when I think about our decision to begin homeschooling, my rearview mirror isn’t tinged with regret. Instead, I feel grateful. Homeschooling has stretched me, grown me, and introduced me to a community of mothers who share wisdom generously.
If anything, when I look back, I find myself thinking about the things I wish someone had told me when we started.
Not because I would change our path, but because certain perspectives would have made the early days feel less intimidating.
One of the things I value most about homeschooling is the collaborative nature of the community. I’ve learned so much from other mothers, and I love the idea of adding my own experience to the collective wisdom.
So with that spirit in mind, here are seven things I wish I’d known before we started homeschooling our six kids.
1. You Don’t Have to Recreate Traditional School at Home
As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, we began homeschooling mid-year after transitioning out of a private school environment. In those early days, part of me felt like I needed to recreate what the kids had just left behind.
We even started out with uniforms! Looking back, that decision makes me smile a little. At the time, it felt necessary for continuity. I wanted the experience to still feel like “real school.”
Over time, though, I relaxed. While we don’t show up to school in pajamas, I no longer feel the need to recreate a classroom environment for the learning to “count.” The kids come to school in their everyday clothes, and our days reflect our home’s organic schedule rather than the structure of a traditional school building.
Ultimately, I now know that homeschooling doesn’t have to mirror traditional school to be valid. Shorter days, flexible schedules, and learning woven naturally into life are not signs that I’m doing it “wrong.” In many ways, they’re the biggest reason we decided to homeschool in the first place.
2. Curriculum Is a Tool, Not the Boss
When I first began homeschooling, I tended to treat the curriculum like a rulebook that had to be followed to the letter.
But over time, I’ve come to see curriculum differently. Many of you know that we use BJU Press as our primary curriculum. But I’ve also learned that no single program has to do everything perfectly for every child.
When one of my children struggles with a concept, I do not immediately blame or abandon the curriculum. I troubleshoot to figure out whether they need a different explanation, more hands-on practice, or the concept broken down further.
Instead of asking, “Is this curriculum failing us?” I ask a different question: What does this child need right now?
To that end, I sometimes pull in outside tools to reinforce and review. I’ve found that The Good and the Beautiful is a great way to reinforce certain tricky math and language arts concepts.
Homeschooling gives us the freedom to adapt, supplement, and adjust. Once I fully embraced that flexibility, the pressure to follow everything perfectly disappeared.
3. Connection Matters More Than Checked Boxes
At first, I constantly measured our days by productivity. Did we finish math? Did we complete reading? Did we get through science? Questions like these were constant drumbeats in my head.
But homeschooling has a way of reminding me that learning is not always linear. Some days are smooth and productive. Other days require the discernment to recognize when everyone is simply tired and the wisdom to pack it up and start again tomorrow. Learning when to pause can be just as important as the lesson itself.
Over time, I realized that protecting our relationship matters more than finishing every item on the lesson plan. When the connection between the kids and me is strong, learning follows naturally.
4. Embrace the Noisy and Imperfect
When homeschooling several children, the day rarely unfolds in a quiet, orderly way. Someone needs help with math, while another child wants to show off their writing. A toddler wanders through the room. Someone spills something. Someone else can’t find their pencil.
And sometimes homeschooling blends with other phases of life in ways I never planned.
More than once, I’ve found myself navigating potty training while simultaneously teaching reading or working through a math lesson with another child. For a long time, I assumed this meant I needed to get more organized.
Now I understand that it simply means we’re a real family living a full life together. Learning happens in the middle of that life, not outside of it.
5. Your Energy Matters Too
One thing I didn’t anticipate early on was how important it would be to protect my own energy. Homeschooling six kids while also running a business requires realistic planning. If the day’s plan is too ambitious, everyone feels the pressure.
Over time, I learned that sustainability matters more than perfection. While in theory, I can schedule a business call every day while the kids are eating lunch for efficiency, I’ve learned not to.
Not only does it leave me feeling like I never get a break, but it also leaves me missing out on one of the things I value most about homeschooling: actually talking to my children outside of teaching.
Building a homeschool rhythm that respects my responsibilities as a mother and business owner has made our days far more manageable.
6. Community Is a Lifeline
One of the most beautiful surprises of homeschooling has been the community. There is something incredibly encouraging about connecting with other mothers who understand the unique demands of this life.
Whether through co-ops, shared activities, or simple conversations, these relationships matter.
The wisdom that circulates within the homeschool community is one of its greatest strengths.
7. Confidence Comes with Time
In the beginning, I questioned myself constantly. I wondered if I’d covered enough material. I’d compare our days to traditional school schedules. I worried about whether my children were learning what they needed to learn.
But my confidence grew with my experience.
As the years have passed, I’ve had a front row seat to seeing my kids’ curiosity deepen alongside their independence. I appreciate how much learning has happened and will continue to happen within the life we’ve built together.
And somewhere along the way, I’ve realized: Homeschooling isn’t something I have to perfect. It’s something I will continue to grow into.
Bottom Line: Homeschooling is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
If there’s one thing I would tell a mother just beginning this journey, it’s this: you don’t have to have everything figured out on day one.
Homeschooling is not about recreating school perfectly. It’s about building an environment where your children can learn, grow, and flourish within the life of your family.
And that journey is worth it.
Gervase Ware is a homeschool mom of six, educator, and motherhood and lifestyle creator who shares real-life homeschool routines, curriculum reviews, family systems, and trusted resources for intentional living at GervaseWare.com.
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